My stepmother is in the hospital in extremely critcial condition.
Just this morning I was finalizing my order for school supplies, hemming and hawing and nitpicking it to death. Am I getting the best deal? Am I leaving anything out? Trivializing over trivial matters. And then I got a call, and those trivial things just go right out the window. Is this chalk better than that one? Does this paper absorb less water? Who cares.
Life is way too short. We've lost three people we love tremendously in the last two years, including my Dad, and it's excruciating. Welcome to the emotional carnage of my life. Chalk? Pah!
I haven't been able to get a good grasp on my plan of attack for Second Grade. There's so much rich literature to draw from, that I find it dumbfounding. But here it is, end of August-- cool morning air, darkness working it's way in earlier and earlier. It feels like it's time. But we may be out of here on the first flight tomorrow. Or next week. Or? There's just no telling. Extremely critical. That's something like pins and needles. Holding your breath. Poised on the edge of a precipe. And it's not okay. It doesn't feel okay.
So where does homeschool fall into this? Where do the kids fall into this? They have experienced more loss than I ever did at their age. Is it better? Is it worse? Is it healthy? It just is what it is, regardless. The unstoppable force of life... and death. Completely out of my hands.
Tonight we offered up all the love our hearts could hold.
I hope it's enough. That's all we can do.
Just this morning I was finalizing my order for school supplies, hemming and hawing and nitpicking it to death. Am I getting the best deal? Am I leaving anything out? Trivializing over trivial matters. And then I got a call, and those trivial things just go right out the window. Is this chalk better than that one? Does this paper absorb less water? Who cares.
Life is way too short. We've lost three people we love tremendously in the last two years, including my Dad, and it's excruciating. Welcome to the emotional carnage of my life. Chalk? Pah!
I haven't been able to get a good grasp on my plan of attack for Second Grade. There's so much rich literature to draw from, that I find it dumbfounding. But here it is, end of August-- cool morning air, darkness working it's way in earlier and earlier. It feels like it's time. But we may be out of here on the first flight tomorrow. Or next week. Or? There's just no telling. Extremely critical. That's something like pins and needles. Holding your breath. Poised on the edge of a precipe. And it's not okay. It doesn't feel okay.
So where does homeschool fall into this? Where do the kids fall into this? They have experienced more loss than I ever did at their age. Is it better? Is it worse? Is it healthy? It just is what it is, regardless. The unstoppable force of life... and death. Completely out of my hands.
Tonight we offered up all the love our hearts could hold.
I hope it's enough. That's all we can do.
Dear Sara,
ReplyDeleteI'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Thanks Lucie! It means so much!
ReplyDelete