Seeing

I spent last week playing catch up. It's amazing how much housework builds up when you can't see.

The good word is that my eyes have been good all week. I went to my local optometrist for an eye test last Tuesday, and after very minimal testing and a bit of conversation, I was abruptly sent away again. He pronounced that I didn't need glasses, and that perhaps I should never, ever get my eyes dilated again.

He took my eyeglass prescription that I was given the previous week and eyed it curiously. I don't know much about these things, but apparently it stated that I was both near-sighted and far-sighted, and I had an astigmatism in both eyes as well. Stranger still, I could actually see with this prescription when I was still under the effects of the eye drops. I could actually see very well, only I couldn't walk. Everything seemed to be the wrong dimensions.



Fast forward to my last eye test, after the effects of the drops finally wore off, and without correction I could read everything this doctor put in front of me. For grins he showed me my sight with the prescription, and I could see nothing. Everything was a warped blur!

It's just all so curious to me! And I'm sure thankful that things are back to normal. My original eye concerns this doctor brushed away as perhaps indicative that I need more sleep. Mothers of young children don't get enough, he said, they are always tired. Ain't it the truth! So I've been working on that too. Sleep is really a nice thing.

Because of my current eyesight theme, a friend recommended I take a look at St. Odilia for Moonshine's saints/heroes lesson. Absolutely a perfect choice for us this week!

Eye update

My eyes are still terribly sore, so I'm only popping in here for a second. But I wanted to say thanks for the kind comments and wishes and prayers. I really appreciate it so much!

I made it through my second round of tests, and they can't figure out what happened. I had the symptoms of a sudden retinal detachment or tear, if I understood him correctly. But after scads of testing, he doesn't see it. I've had some chronic twitching under my eye for the last few months, too, which is maybe related to eyestrain? Or rat allergies? Completely inconclusive results. If my symptoms continue they said the next step is an MRI.

I don't wear glasses, and if I did the prescription would be minimal. I had my eyes checked for my driver's license just last year and the doc shrugged and said, "Eh, maybe just don't drive at night."

Now that I've been in for the testing, my eyesight is awful. For three days now everything is blurry-- both near and far-- and my eyes ache. I can't handle bright lights or read or look at the computer screen for more than a few minutes or I get a splitting headache. I'm just walking around holding my head. I don't know if this is a reaction to the testing medicine or what, but it's really scary and confusing. And of course the doctor gave me a prescription for glasses at the end of my second appointment.

Today I took that prescription into an Optik to order glasses. They took one look at it and said my prescription was very strange and probably wrong. After I explained my symptoms and my normal eyesight, they said it was most assuredly wrong and strongly recommended I get a second opinion. So I will undergo more testing next week.

Meanwhile, life goes on in a very minimal fashion. Including homeschooling, or what I can see of it.

Wedjat eyes

I wanted to post yesterday, but I honestly couldn't see the words on the screen. My left eye has been twitchy for the past few months, but it did something crazy night before last. I spent yesterday in a considerable amount of distress and went through a gamut of emergency testing that left my pupils as large as moons and looking like I had wedjat eyes. They told me I would recover my sight in three hours, but six hours later my eyes were still completely messed up. ( I couldn't even see my own eyes reflected in the mirror, so Einstein took this picture for me.)

Today they hurt. A lot. And things are a little blurry. I'm wearing sunglasses in order to type this, and tonight I go back in for some other kinds of testing. There was a bit of a communication break-down, so I'm not even sure what is going on. But I think the doctor said my eye wasn't falling apart, as the symptoms indicated. But perhaps whatever testing I have tonight will tell-all. Fingers crossed.

In the several hours of non-seeing yesterday I was really surprised at how much of my daily activities are directly reliant on sight. Mothering. Cleaning. Reading. Knitting. Mending. Writing. Gardening. And homeschooling, of course.

Right now Sunburst and I have our feet dug figuratively deep into the Egyptian sand. We're talking about Isis and Osiris and Horus... and this wedjat eye, the eye of Horus. It's supposed to symbolize, not just sight, but an agent of action. And that's what eyes are! Everything I do and am is sight-dependent. And not being able to see, even for a few hours, felt completely debilitating.

And it would be. In the hours of waiting and wondering yesterday I couldn't help but entertain the awful thought of "what if." What if I was losing my sight? If I lost my inability to see, you know, how terrible is that? On the extreme end, I wouldn't be able to see the sweet faces of my children again-- or my grandchildren someday-- or my beautiful husband. And how would I continue homeschooling them? We use an arts-based education, and art is at the heart of everything we do together*. Watercolor painting, pastels, crayons, pencils, fiber, clay-- you name it, we make use of it. Not only use, but joy. How do you live without that?

I guess you learn, but I can't imagine the kind of internal damage that does. I knew an artist once who lost his eyesight to macular degeneration, and how hard just being awake must have been for him! The walls of his house were lined with his life's work-- work which he couldn't see! He kept painting, but as his condition progressed, well... you can imagine how that effected the process and outcome of his work, emotionally and physically.

I guess I'll find out tonight what the future holds in store for my eyes... meanwhile, for my sighted readers, here's a bit of our recent Egyptian artwork to tide you over. I hope these photos are in focus-- I can't tell.






*Imagine how hard it would be to teach a child the nuances of drawing with block crayons if you couldn't see? Or watercolors? Oy!