Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Danger of Bedtime Stories (or Valentine's Day)


I realize I've been MIA for about ten days, but I have a really good reason.




You see, for Valentine's Day, I got this really breath-taking present.  If truth be told, it was actually the night before Valentine's Day.  An early present!




I wasn't expecting it at all!  It was a total and complete surprise to me.  In fact, I don't know when I've ever been more surprised in my life.




Not only was I surprised, but I was completely stunned!  My jaw dropped to the floor.  I didn't even know what to say-- in fact, I don't think I said anything at all for about five minutes.

And when I finally did speak, I couldn't tell you what I said or if I was even coherent.  I'm sure there was screaming.  And tears.  It was one whopper of a present!


Did you guess it yet?






I broke my nose!

I'd like to say that I was spelunking or sky diving or even bungee jumping-- imagine how exciting and perhaps risky that would sound.  Maybe even believable.  But the truth is boring.  Way more boring than that.  In fact, it sounds almost ridiculous when I say it aloud.  In fact, I'll say it, and then you can be witness to the ridiculousness.  Ready?

I broke my nose reading a bedtime story to my five-year-old.

See what I mean!?!  Actually, it was my five-year-old that broke my nose.  How about that?!  He was merely walking around on the bed and then he somehow fell on me.  I know!  It doesn't quite make sense when I say it to myself.  It wasn't like he suddenly dropped from the sky and I cushioned his certain-death fall with my nose... or maybe it was kind of like that.  It depends on what your notion of sky is.  But anyway, my nose took the full brunt of some part of his head.  My face exploded with pain, and then there was the telltale bruising, swelling, and whatnot that followed.  Pain followed pretty much.  Pain upon pain upon pain.


My nose hurt.  My head hurt.  My sinuses hurt.  Even my teeth hurt.  Actually, there was this constant shooting pain like someone had shoved an electric rod in my face and was trying to push my teeth out of my head.  I wasn't sure if I was going to lose my teeth altogether or just end up looking like the one of the 'Hags of the Long Teeth' in Padraic Colum's The King of Ireland's Son.  It wasn't until two days ago that something mysteriously and quite audibly popped back into place, and the intense shooting pain subsided and left me with just a tender, throbbing nose.

It's funny when you wake up and find yourself to be thankful for a throbbing nose.  Talk about perspective.  With five-year-olds randomly falling from the sky, it could have been much, much worse.  Motherhood is dangerous, after all.  It's a real contact sport.  Don't let them tell you otherwise.

And reading bedtime stories?  Totally. Dangerous.

I'm going to start wearing a helmet.

12 comments:

  1. Love the drawings! I'm glad it's feeling better. I was worried there for a while.

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  2. Oh dear! Wishing you all better soon! What a story!

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  3. Oh no! No one told me that this motherhood thing could be so dangerous.:o)

    I hope you're feeling better soon.

    Wendi

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  4. i'm surprised my youngest hasn't done something like this to me yet....but there IS still time, he's only 4! lol

    i'm so sorry to hear about your broken nose. perhaps you could embellish the story a bit to keep the ego from being bruised so much?! :) hope no more 5 year old fall out of the sky and land on your face!

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  5. Oh no! I'm so sorry! That sounds absolutely sucky.

    I always tell people that they should make up good stories to go along with their injuries. Who cares if you fell off a curb.. make up a story about pirates! Who cares if a five year old fell on your face... I think a story about bunjee jumping is perfectly in order. Next blog post I expect to see a really good tall tale about your broken nose :)

    I'm so glad you are feeling better and hope a story is all you take away.. and maybe a little more looking out for falling children :)

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  6. Gute Besserung! Take lots of arnica!

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  7. Thanks everyone! Your comments sure made me smile! xo

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  8. Hi Sara, this almost happened to me the other night with my 2 yo son but it was not so traumatic... I hope you are feeling better. This is just a note of appreciation for all the amazing work you have posted here through the years and gratitude for how much it has helped me on my journey of trying to make home learning fun for a tough customer 2nd grader. Thanks for all the smiles, laughs, and sharing the tears.

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  9. Sue, you are so welcome. Thank you for sharing in my adventure. Your sweet comments mean so much! :)

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  10. Oh dear! How sad. You write about it with such humor. Hang in there. : )

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  11. Aha! So that's the whole story, with illustrations, no less! (Love those; they remind me of John Lennon's art) Serves me right on missing out on things when I take a bloggy break.

    I hope your nose is tons, tons better now! Hugs!

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  12. Goodness, what a story THIS will make for future bedtimes! Once upon a time, there was a mother, a son, and a nose. Well, ONE NIGHT...

    And to have such a mysterious and intriguing ending, too...it's as if your nose MAGICALLY repaired itself!

    I am very glad that your body is healing...and will you be singing, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed"?

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Thank you for taking the time to leave a message. I appreciate your sweet words so much!

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